After fifty-two years of marriage, I can tell you that the average couple is more concerned about the marriage ceremony than they are about their married life. Success in marriage does not come from finding the right person, but rather from your commitment to become the right person.
In Genesis 2, the Bible describes for us the making of the very first marriage. In verse 24 the Bible says, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” What we find in this verse is “marriage math.” “One+One=One.” It is the Creator God who instituted marriage. He made man and woman. He created them male and female. Marriage between a man and a woman is not only God’s command, it is the building block on which all else in life and family stands. We must understand that the destruction of this order will disorder our entire nation.
I desire for you to have a wonderful marriage. I believe there are certain elements that are necessary to make a wonderful marriage possible.
A Marriage of Spiritual Foundation
Marriage cannot be solely dependent upon emotion, or upon physical attraction. All of that is a wonderful part of it, but it must be built on a spiritual foundation. The most wonderful way to enjoy all that marriage has to offer is to begin with a spiritual foundation rooted in your mutual love for the Lord Jesus Christ.
A Marriage of Lifetime Commitment
The Lord Jesus Christ, in the beginning, said that marriage is to be a lifetime commitment (Matthew 19:6). It is not God’s will for a man or a woman to go from one marriage to another. In the beginning, it was God’s will that men understand that marriage is permanent; because of the hardness of the men’s hearts, God gave Moses instructions for divorce. It is God’s plan for a man and a woman to be married and to be determined in their hearts and minds that this is a lifetime covenant. This helps us as husbands and wives to get over so many frivolous things once you have decided that it is, “Until death do us part.”
A Marriage of Mutual Submission
We know what the Bible says about a man leading his family and a woman being in subjection to her own husband. But in the same passage, God says that we should submit ourselves one to another. The man must love his wife as Christ loves the church. So, there must be this third element, the element of mutual submission. Not only is the wife submissive to the husband, but he is submissive to her and to her needs. He makes the commitment to her that Christ makes to the church, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrews 13:5).
A Marriage of Intimacy
This does not just encompass physical intimacy. If you have been married long enough, and you have been through the dark valleys together, you know there are times of intimacy in marriage that are not moments of physical intimacy. There are times of love and tenderness, times of understanding, times of patience, times of tender words spoken and gentle touches, times of sympathetic communication and prayer.
A Marriage That is Growing
When my wife and I met and recognized we were in love, we were just kids. We thought, when we met and married, that it would be impossible for two people to love each other more than we loved each other. But, oh, how that love has grown! Through the tragedies and difficulties of life, God enlarges the capacity of your heart to feel and express. Think of how much growing you have done through painful times. Through the difficult times, my wife and I have learned to count on the Lord and each other in a deeper, more meaningful way.
Marriage is like a beautiful rose. It is something sweet and precious. It is something to be valued and nourished. Through your married life, that rose will continue to blossom and unfold and bloom. And there is so much more yet to be had. I believe with all my heart that is how God intended for it to be. Remember that Genesis 2:24 says, “And they shall be one flesh.” One+One=One.
*For more information on “Marriage Math,” click on the picture below!