Solving the Marriage Math Problem

Marriage is the cornerstone of our society and the foundation upon which strong families are built. Marriage math, according to the Word of God, is One+One=One.

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

Knowing this, how do two individuals become one?

According to a recent survey, there are 2.5 million divorces in America every year. These sad statistics reveal that the marriage math problem is very real. Marriage for the Christian is a covenant, not a contract. Though we may sign legal agreements that are recognized in courts of Law, in the eyes of God, marriage is a covenant. This covenant is between a man and God, and a woman and God. There are some principles we must follow in order to address the marriage math problem we face. Many of these principles first begin with the man.

Men Must Learn to Leave

God established a principle in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” In marriage when we are truly one in the Lord, we recognize that God made us spirit, soul, and body. We are to be one with our spouses in spirit, soul, and body. Here is the principle for every man: you must leave your father and mother in order to cleave to your wife.

If a boy is ever going to become the kind of man with the spiritual maturity to love his wife and lead his family, he has to learn to leave. Remember as a parent that your young man can never become the man, husband, and father that he ought to become if his father and mother insist that he never leaves them. Honor toward a parent is something we are never dismissed from; but as far as obedience is concerned, mothers and fathers should not insist that their grown sons and daughters be treated like children. This is a vital first principle to follow: leave and cleave.

Men Must Learn to Love

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25).

Love is not a mushy, fuzzy feeling. Love is a commitment. In marriage, it is recognizing that you have made a covenant with God. We must learn to love. This love begins with loving God and receiving God’s love in such a way that His love can be shed abroad from our hearts. That is love without limitation or restraint. It is love without condition. It is a love that does not equate behavior with worth. “You treated me well, and so now I will love you!” That is not the way God’s love is given. I am thankful, and you are too, that God does not treat us that way. He loves us unconditionally with an everlasting love. Our love for our spouses should grow out of our obedience to Christ.

Men Must Learn to Lead

There is a great sin in our land. Many women in marriage have the problem of a husband who will not lead. This inevitably leads to a disruption in God’s pattern for the home and family. The Lord Jesus Christ is the ultimate Example for true, loving leadership. Some men have the idea that leading is blowing up about something. A man may believe that leading is forcing his wife down with some harsh words. But Christ teaches us by His example that leadership is never selfish, crude, or overbearing. True leadership never dominates, it always permeates.

If you are going to have a young man who grows up to be the kind of husband he ought to be, he must learn to leave his family and cleave to his wife. He must learn to love. He must learn to lead. He needs to learn how to lead as Christ leads and to love his bride as Christ loves the church. The best preparation for a happy marriage is to grow up in a happy home. Equip your children to solve the marriage math problem by demonstrating the principles of marriage found in Scripture.

*Read more about “Marriage Math” by clicking on the picture below!

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